Saturday, October 8, 2005
8:20PM - A better America
We The People..... Of The United States
This is probably the best e-mails I've seen in a
long, long time. The following has been attributed
to State Representative Mitchell Aye from GA. This
guy should run for President one day...
"We the sensible people of the United States, in
an attempt to help everyone get along, restore
some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep
our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and
secure the blessings of debt free liberty to
ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren,
hereby try one more time to ordain and establish
some common sense guidelines for the terminally
whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal
bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self
evident: that a whole lot of people are confused
by the Billof Rights and are so dim they require a
Bill of NON-Rights."
ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car,
big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More
power to you if you can legally acquire them, but
no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be
offended. This country is based on freedom, and
that means freedom for everyone -- not just you!
You may leave the room, turn the channel, express
a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full
of idiots, and probably always will be.
ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free
from harm. If youstick a screwdriver in your eye,
learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool
manufacturer to make you and all your relatives
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food
and housing. Americans are the most charitable
people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in
need, but we are quickly growing weary of
subsidizing generation after generation of
professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing
more than the creation of another generation of
professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free
health care. That would be nice, but from the
looks of public housing, we're just not interested
in public health care.
ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to
physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape,
intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be
surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in
the electric chair.
ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the
possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or
coerce away the goods or services of other
citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get
together and lock you away in a place where you
still won't have the right to a big screen color
TV or a life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job.
All of us sure want you to have a job, and will
gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect
you to take advantage of the opportunities of
education and vocational training laid before you
to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to
happiness. Being an American means that you have
the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way,
is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over
abundance of idiots created by those of you who
were confused by the Bill of Rights.
HOLD ON ..THIS IS THE BEST PART....
ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We
don't care where you are from, English is our
language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came
from! (lastly....) NOW..
ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change
our country's history or heritage. This country
was founded on the belief in one true God. And
yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any
religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no
fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is
part of our heritage and history, and if you are
uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!!!!
If you agree, share this with a friend. No, you
don't have to, and nothing tragic will befall you
if you don't. I just think it's about time common
sense is allowed to flourish. Sensible people of
the United States speak out because if you do not,
Monday, December 27, 2004
so alot of shit has happened to me in the last few days. last tuesday while working my car got attacked by a monster i call "the evil appartment complex gate". i was at the gate to enter the Lucern appts. and when i came up the the gate it was just sitting there open so i thought i was broken or somthing. so as i neared the gate i reached across to my passenger seat to get the ticket out of the bag and as i was looking at it i was not paying attention to the gate while it was closing in on me. by the time i looked up the gate slammed into my car and popped the tire and put a big dent in the side. when i backed away and parked the car it died and wouldnt start again. so now im driving my dads truck untill i get the car fixed. I had a good christmas yesterday. i got a new computer desk, cell phone, and a printer. sorry jordan no video camera, oh well. on christmas day i hung out with my brother and my cousin jake. it was cool we smoked alot at jakes house then went out to the only restaurant open on christmas. the chinese buffet with all you can eat crab legs all for 13 bucks it was awesome too bad that place is in lakeland.
this week im on vacation so i dont have to work or go to school and im going to gainesville for new years so i have a pretty kick ass week ahead of me. Seacreast out!!!
Friday, December 17, 2004
Sunday, December 5, 2004
11:21PM - Its about fuckin time!
I finally got my computer fixed. i havent done much lately just go to school and work. I finished the first quinmester of my a/c class two weeks early and i hate my job now more than ever. thats about all for now so im gonna go smoke some pot.
Sunday, October 24, 2004
11:15PM - Hows it gonna end for Bob?
Robert Bacon a writer for high times died two days ago while visiting Europe. Bob was touring Amsterdam and writing a story for high times. While in Amsterdam Bob took advantage of the legal marijuana there. Bob got hundreds of pictures of all over Amsterdam but one picture in particular cost him his life. Bob decided to visit the oldest working windmill in the whole country. Bob got to go up into the windmill (which is normaly off limits to the public) to take pictures for high times. While Bob was in the windmill him and the tour guide he was with decided to smoke some marijuana. Apparently they smoked to much because when Bob stood up after smoking about an 8th ounce of dope he was so disoriented that he lost his balance and fell, however his right arm got caught in one of the gears that was turning from the windmill. First his arm was ripped off then the rest of his body was pulled into the gears. His body was to big to go into to the gears but it did block them from turning which made the windmill stop. This built pressure on Bobs body in fact the pressure was so intense that no one could pull his body to safety. After about 20 seconds the wooden gear finally ripped into the torso of Bob. Bob's remains were scattered all through gears turning the windmill and his blood dripped down the walls and puddled up all over the floor. A story on Bob and his death will be published next month in high times.
Monday, October 11, 2004
6:43PM - Just a regular Entry
Wow, its been a while since I've had a regular update. Alot of shit has happened to me lately. a few weeks ago i got rear-ended on Bloomingdale and there was only minor damage to my car but today I found out that im getting $2800 from the Insurance company. Im also in school now, learning about air conditioners, goddamn from what i see in the class room and the text book, this shit looks complicated as hell. but its ok because it looks really interesting and the teachers and the other students are cool as fuck. The school is awesome, its so much different than high school. You can get up and leave anytime you want, you can smoke on school property infact you can get up in the middle of class and walk outside for a cigarette or use your cell phone or just get some fresh air. Its gets better, there are no due dates for anything, the whole coarse is "go at your own pace" so the faster I can get shit done the faster I can graduate. And most of the work is hands on and there is very little book work and no homework. And I can leave campus for lunch and our lunch is an hour. So I think this College thing is gonna work for me. And im delivering pizzas at night for cash. Also due to my very shitty genetics I have alot of moles on me, well not for long because im getting most of them removed, I already have my arms done next im doing my back and chest, its a little painful but its worth it. Thats about it for what I've been doing with my life. this weekend is gonna be cool because im going to Howl-o-scream again which is cool because I just love those spooky houses and big scary rides, Woo.
PS - I will continue the "hows it gonna end" entries with my next update. It will be the death of Bob.
Sunday, October 3, 2004
Sun. Oct. 3rd, 2021
The Tampa Tribune
Dallas Ross, the worlds most famous Nebraska Ave. "employee", was found dead today. After an very thorough autopsy, and multiple anal probes, Dallas's cause of death has been officially released as "severe head trauma, severe anal trauma" and "having big, ugly monkey nipples". Dallas was found face down, dead on Nebraska Ave. at 5:28am by Sheriff Pauly Shore, who has been placed in jail for sodomizing the body upon finding it. The body was placed in custody of Andrew McCarthy and... uh... the other dude from "Weekend at Bernies"... and "Weekend at Bernies 3: The Gayest Threesome Ever... EVER" was filmed in the of five hours. After that, the body was placed naked in the bath tub at Sam Freeman's house, where it was urinated upon multiple times by Richie Harter and Sam Freeman. Then the body was taken to the hospital... where it was again sodomized by Dr. Cameron Worden.
Friday, September 24, 2004
Sarah Keen was killed yesterday by a group of men that were fed up with her situation with her and her X-husband. Four years ago Sarah found out that her husband of seven years was having multiple affairs with other woman and in doing this he caught a venereal disease which he gave to Sarah. When Sarah found out that her husband was cheating and she had a VD she cut her husbands penis of while he was sleeping and shoved it in his mouth as he was waking up. Sarah sent spent two years in prison for this. While in prison she received mail from women all around the country thanking her and giving her support.
Sarah's two years were up and she was finally free. When she got out of prison she found out that her husband's penis was sowed back on by surgeons and he was back having sex again with alot of woman and he had slept with one of Sarahs friends and passed her a far worse VD than sarah had. So Sarah decided to end it once and for all so three days after she was out of jail she found out were her x-husband was living and went over to his house at night, broke in and cut his penis off again only this time she took it to the kitchen and cooked it in the microwave for 30 minutes. While she was cooking his penis she beat him up real bad with one of his golf clubs. After she left her x-husband called the police and reported what happened. It took Two months for the authorities to find Sarah but when they did she had been hiding out with feminist all over the country. Sarah Returned to prison this time sentenced for 10 years. Her story was known world wide and her X-husband won a lawsuit that made it illegal for his named to be mentioned by anyone on TV or the newspapers, magazines etc. While Sarah was in prison a group of men formed on the internet called *******. They were against Sarah for cutting a mans penis off and swore revenge on her when she got out of prison. Sarah got parole just two years into her sentence and was released from prison yesterday and her first night home She was confronted at her house by that group formed on the internet which was believed to be only a few guys who were all divorced. They broke into Sarahs home planning on killing her. What they Didnt know is that Sarah had a rather large collection of knives and guns. Sarah was able to Shoot and kill Two of the men and she injured two more however she ran out of bullets in the gun she was using and while she was reloading two more men came in the house. Sarah was able to fight them both off pretty easily at first until one of them stabbed her in the foot with a pocket knife. Sarah backed up and pulled the knife out of her foot but the the man stood up an grabbed a lamp and hit her on the head several times until she was knocked out. Then the Man looked around and saw he was the only one standing. Sarah had killed two of his friends and seriously injured three more leaving him the only one standing. So he went and got one of Sarah's guns and shot her in the chest. About that time police showed up from the neighbors 911 call. Two Female cops showed up and shot the man that shot Sarah because he wouldnt put his gun down, he just stood there and said "Im not lowering my gun for no bitch" so the cops were forced to fire on him. As for Sarah, her gunshot to the chest killed her but she is now known all over the country for cutting a mans penis off twice and being able to fight off six men that broke into her home. She is a legend to woman everywhere and feared by all men everywhere.
Saturday, September 18, 2004
Clinton Cook met a tragic end today while on a call for a fire in a apartment home. Clint entered the burning building with his fellow firefighters looking for any people that may be trapped in side. Clint and two other firefighters made their way to the third floor of the building which is were the fire started. Clint entered a room were the fire was covering the whole roof. As he was searching for any people the roof began to collapse so Clint headed for the door that he entered in at. Just as he was in the doorway it collapsed on him and knocked him down trapping him in the room. Clint was stuck in the room with no windows and nowhere to go with a roof that was about to collapse. However before the roof could collapse the floor fell through and Clint fell three stories to the ground floor and landed on broken boards and tile floor. Luckily he was still alive after this fall and while he was on the bottom floor he found a little girl who was hiding in her bathtub. But after the fall Clint had broken both legs so he could not walk. Clint screamed for his partners to come and help and after a few minutes another firefighter found the two of them in the bathroom. Just as soon as they got Clint and the little girl outside the roof finally collapsed and a small portion of the building fell down right were Clint was laying not two minutes before. As the firefighters got everyone out of the building and put the fire out Clint was the only one seriously injured and had to be taken the the hospital.
Meanwhile: One mile away from the fire a man named ***** was being chased by the police for an outstanding arrest warrant in his name. The chase was at a steady 75 miles an hour and there was nine police cars and a helicopter following the suspect.
As the chase came speeding down the road it came to the scene of the fire. An ambulance was parked in the middle of the road and paramedics were preparing to put Clint in the ambulance. When the suspect came to he swerved to miss the ambulance but hit Clint dead on while he was strapped in the stretcher. The stretcher was on the ground and was not elevated so the car ran over Clint on the stretcher. Clint became mangled up into the stretcher and the car dragged him for about 50 feet before parts of the stretcher became stuck up in the wheel well and caused the tire to jam, the driver then tried to turn the car and it rolled up on its side and continued to slide another 15 feet before it finally stopped. After it was all over Clint's body was mangled in the remains of the stretcher and blood was spread 60 feet down the road. Clint was pronounced dead at the scene. The suspect that was driving the car received a life sentence in a maxim security prison with no chance for parole.
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
11:22PM - Hows it gonna end for Cameron?
Cameron Worden the CEO of the ********** company age 51 died yesterday while he was visiting New York city on a business trip. Cameron was leaving a Manhattan restaurant where he was meeting with executives from his company. Cameron decided to walk the seven blocks back to his hotel at 9:30 at night. Half way there Cameron was pulled into an alley by two black men where he was held at gun point and was told to hand over his wallet. Cameron gave the men his wallet, one of the men opened his wallet and saw that it belonged to Cameron Worden the CEO of the largest ***** making company in the world. Unfortunately the two men that were mugging Cameron were former employees of Cameron's company and worked at the factory in New Jersey that was recently closed down and moved to mexico, leaving 1200 people in New Jersey out of a job including the two men mugging Cameron. When the men realized who Cameron was they proceeded to beat him with the ends of their guns. they left Cameron naked in the alley and covered in blood. Cameron dragged his naked and bloody body around the corner and up to the curb next to a taxi cab hoping for someone to help him. The cab driver got out of the car and helped him in the car then took him to the hospital. While in the hospital cameron made a statement on what happened but sadly died two hours later due to massive brain trauma. The two men that beat him were arrested and charged with first degree murder, however the public praised them as heros for teaching the companys (that fire their workers to make more money) a lesson.
12:21AM - Hows it gonna end for John?
A high ranking military officer by the name of John Carter died yesterday at a advanced weapons center for the U.S. government. 20 years ago President George W Bush started a top secret weapons program during the second Gulf War. This program was started in order to research using Lazers for hand held weapons. Today this program is known about world wide and has successfully changed all weapons for military use.
Gen. John Carter was visiting a Military base yesterday in New Mexico where an accident happened that ended Gen. Carter's life. A ceremony to reveal the newest lazer weapon created was supposed to be a routine training exercise . Gen. Carter was to do the honers and fire the first shot that would shown to the public on television. however When Carter stepped up to fire the shot a malfunction happened in the weapon which caused a small explosion around the trigger. John's hand was vaporized instantly. For any other lazor based weapon this would be all that happened. However the news cameras picked up some footage that many believed was not supposed to be known by the public. After Carter's hand was gone his arm started to be consumed by a green acid looking substance which continued to spread all over his body while Gen. Carter continued to scream in pain. News cameras caught about 30 seconds of this before secret service and military personal stepped in and removed the General an took him indoors to the infirmary. Two hours passed untill a spokes person came back outside to make a statement on what happened. He said that the weapon malfunctioned and the lazer was not supposed to engulf the entire body, an they will have to continue research on this particular weapon.
After that statement was reported the media is not buying it and some believe that the weapon was supposed to do that if purposely fired on a human being. the military continually denies this clam and assures the public that it was only an accident and after further testing they will fix the problem.
As for Gen. John Carter, his remains have been cremated and will be stored at Arlington national semetary.
Monday, September 13, 2004
Mr. Jordan Rice age 22 died in a freak accident on a roller coaster today. Him and his friend Sam Freeman took the day off from work and went to Busch Gardens where they rode the wooden roller coaster Gwazi. Jordan was known for being scared of large rides like Gwazi but in this case he rode the ride because Sam had some rather odd photo's of jordan in the nude and threatened to expose them to the internet if Jordan refused to ride a roller coaster. So jordan decided to over come his fear and ride the ride. While on the chain lift Jordan became so full of fear that he tried to undo his lap bar and exit the train before getting to the top of the lift hill. However by the train got to the top of the hill Jordan was almost out of the car but his foot was stuck in the seat belt. Sam tried to pull him back in because the car was about to enter the first drop, but Jordan panicked and froze up. Sam was trying to Hold on to his friend but as the car dropped down the first hill Jordan flew out and landed on another part of track 15 feet away and was believed to still be alive at this point. However the train came around and slammed into Jordan while he was laying on the track. Jordan's body was split into three pieces: the head, the torso and left leg, and finally the right leg. This impact also caused the train to derail and crash and a large portion of the track collapsed on Jordans body. amazingly no one else was killed in this accident. After it all happened Sam admitted that he had already put Jordan's nude photo's on the internet two days before and was going to tell him after they got off the ride. After this Accident Sam has received several death threats so he has decided to move to Canada until things cool down.
Saturday, September 11, 2004
10:30AM - Hows it gonna end for me?
Sam freeman age 45 died today when he was attempting to fix the water heater in his home. the Freeman house hold which consisted of Sam, his wife ***** and their 12 year old twin girls ***** and *****, had a water heater in the attic above the second floor of their home and it hadnt been working properly. when Mrs. Freeman asked Sam to call a repair man Sam replied "nah, i can fix it". so Sam attempted to repair his water heater with out knowing anything about how it works. Sam quickly made an assumption that it was not working because it was "a piece of shit". when Sam realized this he went to his garage and got a sledge hammer and returned to his attic swearing at the water heater and threatening it saying "if you dont start working again im gonna beat the shit out of you with this hammer". the water heater did not fix itself so Sam started pounding away at it with the sledge hammer. Sam hit the water heater so many times that it cracked on the side and water started leaking out. This only made Sam more angry so he decided to rip the electrical cord out of the water heater with the other end of the cord still plugged in and receiving power when Sam dropped the broken electrical cord in the water on the wet attic floor Sam was instantly electrocuted. When his wife got home two hours later and found the whole house flooded and her husband in the attic she called 911. Sam was pronounced dead by paramedics at the scene and his family only received half of Sam's life insurance money due to the fact that Sam died partly because of his low intelligence.
Thursday, September 9, 2004
11:41PM - the flood
I have had a pretty shitty week. after the hurricane on sunday i thought the worst was over. i was very wrong. on tuesday the water from the river flooded my entire yard. front and back. luckily i moved my car out to the road before the water came. but walking through my yard to get to my car sucked because the water was up to my knees. as we realized the water was about to come in my room my dad sprayed this foam stuff at the bottom of all the doors to block the water but he did not finish in time. there was a two foot opening where there was no foam so the water started flowing in my room at about noon on tuesday. we pulled the carpet up an started wet vacuuming the water up as it came in the house. we couldnt put the foam down in that little spot because it doesnt work if the surface is wet. so my mom, dad, uncle and me sat at my door vacuuming water and then emptying the vacuums out into my bathtub about every two minutes. we did this for seven straight hours, luckily one of my dads friends had some sand bags we could use so they stopped the water. then after we stoped the water my room was a complete disaster. all my stuff was piled up in one corner and the expensive stuff upstairs. thank you sarah for helping me put my stuff all back in place. this has all been a good learning experience for me because if/when ivan gets here i will be ready.
Tuesday, September 7, 2004
2:04AM - i like chips
just been hangin out latley, i've got to the final boss on doom 3 and im proud of myself for that. this hurricane fuckin sucked ass. the power was out all day yesterday and the river is up half way into my yard and still going, god i hope my room dosent flood. yesterday sucked, there was no power and i was bored as hell all day untill danny called me at like 10:30 and asked if i wanted to go hang out with her so that was cool. we played hide'n'seek at her house in the dark which was pretty fun. then coming back home i got to see providence road in the pitch black darkness. it was weird there were no lights anywhere not even on the stores or the stoplights, just total darkness. today was cool thow, work was easy. hung out with jordan and john and thier friend dustin who was cool. we just sat at my house and watched tv and played on the computer a little, afterwards jordan and i went to waffle house where i had a pretty shitty burger but oh well it was fun i guess. well thats pretty much it. im looking foward to next week because me sarah and danny and maybe(hopefuly)jordan are gonna get disney tickets which will be fun.
Wednesday, September 1, 2004
IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE THIRTEENTH JUDICIAL CURCIT
IN AND FOR HILLSBOROUGH COUNTY, STATE OF FLORIDA
IN INTREST OF: SAMUEL J. FREEMAN
ORDER OF DISMISSAL
THIS CAUSE having been heard by the court upon the defendant's oral motion to dismiss and the court after hearing argument of counsel, and otherwise fully advised in the premises therein, it is hereby:
ORDERED AND ADJUDGED that this case is DISMISSED based on
-Successful Completion of Juvenile Drug Court
DONE AND ORDERED at Tampa, Hillsoborough County, Florida
on this 1st day of September, 2004
.......in other words, YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IM FINALLY DONE WITH THIS SHIT!!! NO MORE DRUG TEST, NO MORE COURT DATES, AND NO MORE GOODWILL!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
9:36PM - Look how Sam is Livin!!!
my job is so much better now that im a delivery driver. i dont have to cook anymore, unless i need to help out the other cooks. and im making pretty good money. yesterday i made about 80 bucks in tips and one guy i delivered to gave me a anti-bush bumper sticker because i commented on how cool the ones on his car were. i also saw some ladys boob the other day (haha, i said boob) she came to the door in a bath robe but she was oblivious to the fact she had a tit hangin out, it was cool.
i did my last drug test taday, finally. i only have one week left and im done with goodwill. after im done im not gonna smoke, however i will always carry weed on me when im in jordans car only. i dont wanna carry weed in my on car because i dont wanna get arrested again, but jordans car is such a safe place to stash illegal drugs because hes such a good driver that you know he will never get pulled over. hahahahaha the perfect plan, i wonder if jordan will agree with me.
Friday, August 20, 2004
9:37PM - 18
never mind about my doom 3 problem, i fixed it.
but anyway i turn 18 tomorrow, YAY!!!! theres all kinds of pointless shit i can now throw money away on like cigarettes, porn, stripers, rifles, be-be guns and paint ball guns, plus i can finally get an atm card and a credit card which i can use to buy my pointless shit.
man turning 18 is awesome.
ok now im pissed. i got doom 3 and while im playing it it will ramdomly quit and the game will exit. if ayone knows why this is happining please let me know. i hope its the game and not my computer.
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
11:51PM - Shatterbox!!!
I just got home from the shatterbox concert and i was really surprised on how good they where. I really liked that it was by no means "punk" or just a shitty garage band they were actually very good. Some bad ass guitar solos and one really bad ass song that featured an awesome bass line done buy the very talented Jordan Rice. It was also cool seeing Stephen Seagull (a.k.a. Vagina Steve) play his solos and come off the stage and close the the crowd. The singer Mark looks just like Quentin Tarantino which is a cool look especially when your a lead singer of a band. And the drums were superb I think they should write a song that features a big ass drum solo, that would be bad ass. anyway I really think these guys might make it if the word gets out on who they are so if they ever play at the masquerade again you all should defiantly go check them out. I know I will.
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